It's that time of year again when everyone likes to make predictions and outline what is going to happen next year in a certain field. Personally I'd like some of these predictions to be a little more sports orientated and a little more score specific but in lieu of that I can make do with a prediction of what social media is going to offer 100 years from now*:
1. Facebook will improve safety standards in its moon mines
They have been promising that less children will be killed down the Facebook mines of Crisium, but this year CEO Lord Mark Zuckerberg IV has promised that the mega-corp will start to require more stringent safety checks, better breathing equipment and at least two meals a day for under-fives.
2. Apple will upgrade its BrainBook
We spent most of 2110 complaining about the BrainBook that many of us have had implanted directly into our brains, but Apple chairman Mike The Situation XI recently unveiled the new, slimmed down BrainBook that he says will not crash when people walk through metal detectors and says Apple have found the bug that led to the 4,657 head explosions last year.
3. Twitter will reduce tweets to just 45 characters
Twenty-second Century teens are going to get their way and the current outmoded tweets will be reduced so as to reduce the laborious time it takes to send and receive messages of 46 characters.
4. More stores will adopt the MindMeld app
It's controversial, but it's working. The MindMeld app, which allows stores to directly interface with the brains of consumers will be THE hit of 2111. Expect to return home with goodies you didn't even know you needed. Really, you'll leave the house for bread and milk and return with a drill and foot powder.
5. The first pre-natal Facebook page will be opened
Facebook says it's coming and it probably will be 2111 when it allows the under-zeros to get online and create a profile without parental intervention. Wombbook(TM) will link directly to neo-natal clinics, allowing instant upload of scans onto profile pics and fetuses will be able to tweet directly to their mother, demanding more or less ice cream covered curly fries.
6. We'll finally receive the blog posts from those astronauts on their way to Alpha Centauri
Nasa says they are coming all the way from 2087! Did they make it? Did Astronaut Denise hook up with Cosmonaut Sergei? Who grew the best facial hair?
*This of course ignores any possible nuclear wars, zombie diseases or worse, Sarah Palin becoming President.
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